That's what I'm telling myself when I think about the past three days, and the exams I've just sat for.

And I think it's what's on the minds of a great number of people that I know.

Thing is, I could've done better. Thing is, I could've been telling myself, "Man. That was way easy, I could've done it with a flu, a headache, a pen running out of ink, as well as with a lack of air-conditioning and a amazingly noisy construction site."

If, only.

I hate those words.

I'd like to believe that without those words, I'd never have to worry about making a wrong decision, since I wouldn't know if there were are other paths I could take.

For example, if I gained weight,

"If only I didn't have that rich, delicious chocolate cake last night."

This means I could have avoided having that rich, delicious chocolate cake - that tasted like all the angels had specially minimized themselves so they could dance on my tongue, tingle my taste buds and sprinkle a mildly pleasant combination of fairy and angel dust to make me feel like the cake was truly magical - last night.

And here's where if gets complicated.

If only the words if and only didn't exist, I wouldn't have made up such a lame analogy.

Philosophical (or stupidly nonsensical) thoughts aside, it's time to move on to topics of greater concern.

It's now the start of the June break (not yesterday, no, because I spent the last day of school IN school for about 16 hours) so I'm hoping to relax a short while.

Then while I'm still in the June break, I'm going to do something I have never done in any break before - work.

Schoolwork, that is. Yeap, I'm having the crazy ambition of hitting my books and getting some studying done so that I will have no excuse to helplessly fail my arms when they get weak and wobbly from all the writing I would have to do in term 3 if I didn't study during June.

But after thinking of this, I realise that if only the June break were longer, I would be able to catch up more.

Same way if only the June break were longer, I would be able to relax more.

If only.

Bah, now I have a choice.

-1352, 28-5-10