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Today I have ended my 10 day streak. And possibly set a new record. -0037, 29-4-10 When I'm with you, I'll make every second count, 'Coz I miss you, Whenever you're not around. -1333, 27-4-10 I want a thank you. It seems selfish. But I want a thank you. For spending 10 days straight doing what others expect me to be a Superman at. That's partially why my mood is at it is. And the other reasons, ah, I shall not digress. I want a thank you. From anyone else. But you, because I already know. You need not say a word. -2202, 25-4-10 I will keep you in my prayers. I will be your listening ear. I will comfort your distress. I will be forever here. That was all until 5pm Is just one of those days, I guess. It's pouring outside, and I was half drenched when I first entered this air-conditioned room. I'm amazed I'm not even cold. Perhaps its just me being a tad little annoyed/pissed that's keeping my body temperature above the average levels. The worst part of it is that I never know why I'm angry, or sad, or pissed, or grumpy. I only ever know why I am happy, elated, excited, anxious, satisfied, content. Then again, maybe it's the migraine, induced by both the rain and me walking straight into 18 degree Celsius surroundings. Or the aching in my arms brought by heavy lifting and carrying furniture halfway across the school compound. Or the gnawing feeling that I have work undone yet am still procrastinating, simply asking to be swept up by the passing of days in a blur and then tossed away and left behind like those cheap, rusty cars as they experience tornado weather in places that I have never even set foot in. Or the combination of the 3, which unexpectedly are really little green martians trying to screw me over in the hopes that I cut myself, then while I sleep they enter the wound and steal my blood, and then with a sample, return to their home planet, utilize the superhuman DNA in my bodily fluids and then create a virtually undefeatable warrior, bring him back, try to take over the Earth, then realize that, like me, the 'warrior' is too lazy to give a shit. Well, aliens, I already have 5 open wounds on my body. But could you guys come tomorrow? I know the chances of actually entering a open wound tomorrow are way smaller than right now, due to my skin having the ability to heal itself over a period of time (superhuman to them, what to us we call cell reparation), but I just hope you guys would be a little sensitive to my current emotions. Since, after all, today is a bad day. I promise I'll be a thousand times more hospitable tomorrow. -1610, 21-4-10 I'm pretty sure I'm at a loss for words. Something that seems rather surreal to me at this point in time. Then again, pretty words mean little as compared to actions. Which equates to me being the equivalent of inaction in a tangible essence. And besides, everything I've said, and could've said, has been said, and everything that has been said has been said at least a few hundred times. I'm afraid that what's been said will have lost some meaning, being diluted by repetition, and hence causes myself to seem slightly more insincere each time. I'm just as paranoid, in a sense, although in a different way. I'm afraid I'll start to take for granted, this feeling. I'm afraid I'll let it all get to my head. I'm afraid I'll let you down. I'm afraid I'll never understand completely. But then for now, I am unafraid. I. Love us. Love you. Forever. Promise. -2232, 20-4-10 I swear a feeling like this can never be described until you feel it yourself. That's when you know, that the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, the sun is shining, the angels are smiling, for you. You don't have to say sorry. The things I do, The words I spew, Are all part of who I am. I hope you can understand. I would do anything within my power. For you. You don't have to say sorry, For saying things you don't mean, because I know what your heart really means. For not always being there, because you are always with me, and I with you. For making me wait for forever, I wait because I love it. Sorry for hurting my heart, but you never have. Sorry for taking it out on me, as long as it cheers you up. Sorry for not being able to cheer me up, I smile when you smile; I cry when you cry. Sorry for loving me less, we are forever, in this manner, equal in the volume of love. Sorry for not being good enough, because you definitely are. -1029, 15-4-10 I don't think there is anything else left to say, that I haven't already told you a few thousand times. But I want to make this clear - you mean the world to me. And I hope I mean the same to you. I want to be the person you can lean on. The person who will always support you. The person who will keep you safe, keep you warm, shelter you from harm. The person you can always trust, never doubt, and forever love. The person you are to me now. I love you. -0001, 13-5-10 Courage is taking chances, no matter how small. Courage is not a lack of fear, but having lots of fears, Then pushing forward and making sure you remain uninhibited. Courage is having passion for the things you love, even if everyone else disagrees. Courage is holding her hand, and telling her how you feel. Then I am still building up courage. And until I have enough courage, the lingering feeling on my left cheek will suffice. -0059, 5-5-10 I'm flying above the clouds, and it feels simply pleasant. Days have been passing quickly but slowly at the same time. And I love the feeling. - 0029, 2-5-10 |