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I Used to Rack My Brain for Titles. Then I Stopped Including Them. Now... I've looked through my archives. Since I was in Secondary two/three, I have changed a lot. I used to blog, and leave hidden messages, if you will, or at the very least something that a person would have to read through a little, think about, then understand it. Now, I just leave nearly undecipherable messages that few get. It's strange to see how the gamer lingo I've come to know and love like the back of my hand (I love the back of my hand like no other, and even more so than the grip of my hand) has left my writing. How my vocabulary has expanded drastically. But also how, most importantly, my logic is so circular and meaningless now. I hardly know what I'm typing half the time. I don't give explanations, elaborations, or even clues as to the thoughts running around freely in my head as I do type out each sentence after the next. But then again, back then, I only had to problem of boredom to contend with. And in today's new age, I have to deal with boredem, a slice of self-pity, a bowl full of responsibilities, a tiresome one-way romance, and a hell lot of unused brain power. It's no wonder my clarity of thought is as clouded as it is. Yet, this should be an outlet for my frustrations, should it not? So why am I still hiding behind the anonymity this blog presents, when this blog is already anonymous? No, let me rephrase. Why am I making no sense, seeming to be annoyingly profound with meaningless, nonsensical phrases, musings and aphorisms, when this blog already provides me with outlets of anonymity that protects my self-interests and ensure I don't get into more trouble? I think the answer lies further in my head, deep down where my dreams are made. I have been having very strange dreams over the past few months. So for now, I think I'll have to dream up an answer. p.s: holy wall of text. 1211, 1-9-09 |