How would we feel

joy without pain

cold without flames

light without dark

peace without chaos

company without loneliness

content without regret

reward without struggle

life without death

love without hate

It is the blindly optimistic who see only the good, and pray we never have to face the bad; they will never know that nothing comes without a counterpart.

It is the gloomy pessimists who see only the foul, and give up hope of ever finding the good; they give up the fight before it starts, and trapped in a circle, never realising where the problem lies.

But then there are those who see both good and bad, understand their presence, and laugh at the irony, thinking, whispering, to themselves, "Life is a Funny Thing; That's what makes it worth living."

I'm in hell.

But I'll live.

And then I can look foward to L4D2 BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg nerd excitement took over me there.

But then I forgot what else I wanted to say.

..

...

...

L4D2 BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

-2241, 21-11-09

Felt great to see them, and that they've changed, but they're still the same, I guess.

I can't remember the last time I heard so much sarcasm packed into a string of sentences, or the mocking tone we used with the words 'Builder' and 'Bob', or even the infamous site, 'freesexyindian.com'.

Really great to see them , the next time won't take so long, I can swear.

Then after that, I went with my current class to the night safari.

I honestly felt it was a pretty good waste of money, $22 gone down just like that.

Exhibits were interesting at best, but couldn't really keep my attention and I found myself wanting to rush through the enclosures, or otherwise spaced out and thinking about the surrounding darkness whilst grabbing my friend's floorball stick. Apparently when I do that, I look like the villain from 'Halloween'. I shudder at the thought.

It's hardly night now, but I couldn't care less. Night is where the darkness is, so it is day where I know it.

By the way, it's Friday the 13th, and my stomach is hurting.

-0127, 13-11-09

-2205, 5-10-09

Class: 1SA5

Chinese - C

General Paper - B

Physics - A

Chemistry - A

Economics - E

Mathematics - B

*In alphabetical order of subjects, from H1 to H2

So if this were A levels, the score'd be something like 65+ (out of 90?) which wouldn't get me anywhere. Ima needa buck up sometime soon. Then again, perhaps I should rejoice, because apparently I've done better than many people I know, and they are the ones taking their results lightly.

Besides, I should feel a little more secure knowing that my class is top 7th in terms of Chemistry H2 MSG, and 5th in terms of Mathematics H2 MSG as well. Quite a feat, huh?

I wonder how we'll fare in econs (bitchy heelee somewhat screwed us over).

Anyway, today I had the song Stella - All Time Low stuck in my head. I kept singing it out loud and I might have bugged some of my classmates out. Then again, they could've found it entertaining. After all, how often do you see your class emo burst out in a melodious, catchy song belonging to the POP-PUNK genre? The same genre as so many great bands before, including (but not limited to) Blink 182, Busted and so on.

As the song goes,

It's still stuck in my head, even till now. I just autoplayed it on my iPod, by the way, for about 50 minutes straight. That's probably close to 16 listens, consecutively.

Till then,

take me home, wasted but happy.

-2313, 4-11-09

So what's been happening with me? Let's see. Promotional exams are over (long ago), I've gotten my results (less long ago) and found them not-so-satisfactory (5 minutes after less long ago occurred) and am now mulling in a seemingly-depressed-but-actually-quietly-content state of mind.

I'm not going to tell you what I got, I don't want you to know how much of an idiot I am, especially after I already told you that my commonplace circular arguments are only difficult to follow because they make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I will, however, tell you that my CCA responsibilities are back in full swing, and I am not enjoying them one bit. But I can't exactly quit on such short notice, and I'm not going to be a coward who will quit in the first place, so I've decided I'm going to suck it up and survive. Not do my best, no. Just survive. Because I'm far too passive to even hit the halfway mark my 'best' has so evilly pinned up.

My brother's left for Taiwan. Part of his NS thing. And here's the part where I see myself having to find my presence in the aforementioned country two years down the road. I'm not dreading it, but I'm not exactly throwing a party at the prospect either (I mean, there's still the chance I don't go, which won't really leave me a devastated mess).

Project Work is bitching up my life. It's not as if the work isn't enough for us to handle, but now I have drama between two group members, and I can't possibly play the diplomat while retaining my status as a spectator. Frankly, it's starting to piss me off too, and they'd better get their shit together if they want that A. We've already come too far to lose it now, although it isn't surprising if we never got it in the first place (touches my study desk, for it is the nearest thing made out of wood from where my ass is currently planted (Yes, that's right, my study desk is made of wood!) ).

Chinese A Level Examination is in roughly 33 hours. I hope I'm prepared, although the truth of that fact can be debated very easily. At least I have 2.5 hours of tuition tomorrow, so that might just push my preparation levels up by so much. I just realised that I do need to prepare on my own, and I should probably start now, but it's already 11.09pm, so there isn't much time until I have to sleep to prepare for my tuition the next day. I do hope for a B, but I think a C's fine too. After all, how many people I have met, who claimed a pass was all they needed to make their days, and allow them to revel in the fact that they never have to study Chinese ever again.

Listening constantly to All Time Low's music now. Their new album, 'Nothing Personal', differs so greatly from their previous album, 'So Wrong, It's Right'. But while some may say it's a bad thing, I think it's really quite refreshing. Both albums were great anyway, but now I can't stop wanting to sing aloud (even if in public) when I hear their new tunes on my iPod. And it's just so dam catchy, I keep thinking about the lyrics, non-stop. The strange thing though, is that their new album makes them sound like Boys Like Girls' first album. And Boys Like Girls' second album is different from the first, too. I'm glad to see change in music styles from the different bands I know, and like I said, it's refreshing to realize that the band you're listening to sounds like how a band used to sound like when you used to listen to the latter.

Extremely hyped up about L4D2's release on Nov 17th, probably gonna wait until after Theatre Week to buy it, though. Saw the L4D2 Survival Guide, and felt it was incredibly epic, and hands down THE best game-related video I have ever seen. It's sort of a trailer, but not exactly a trailer either, but I couldn't care less. As random YouTube comment leavers have exclaimed, I might have (not, I really didn't) "Jizz in my pants." Either way, I'm still having a fit over how awesome the games going to be. The demo's out and it's already received positive feedback from the best players of L4D, and the common public players as well. Valve has a magic formula that other game-making companies might want to get their hands on (well, not really, I'd rather it stay with Valve).

So, tell me, what's been up with you?

-2318, 31-10-09

It's really relaxing and amazing.

Although of course it's still hard to remove worries from a mind as detailed as mine (and yours, for they are all the same, only the content within differs).

So anyway, proud of us getting 2nd for Captain's Ball during the AC Games (I didn't play, I helped by analyzing other teams, but then that didn't help much because the last game they subbed people so I was gaping mouth wide open). And 'mulling' over our loss at bridge. But then, I think we'd make it no further than round 3. So I'd best be leaving that memory and associated actions (that I shan't mention) behind.

Hmm.

Waiting for promo results. I won't fail any subject, but I'm sure I won't do as well as I expected (2As, the rest Cs). Maths and Chem failed me, but GP, Physics, Econs and surprisingly, Chinese, went much better than I thought so I can still hope.

Anyway, I need to space myself out more. I was absolutely professional at doing so in the past but after the hype of the O levels I don't really remember how anymore.

Oh my body's going into relapse now.

Relapse: A term coined by myself when a body starts to sweat (even if minimally) uncontrollably and headache's make themselves apparent. Usually caused by loud sounds along with constantly changing appearances in front of the subject's eyes, and can include proximity to heat (usually a factor speeding up such an occurrence).

Relapse.

Better get some water in my system.

2313, 16-10-09